we're blogging at a bar
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
