I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
