There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
