I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
