And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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