And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
