So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
