Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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