Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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