left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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