I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
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