i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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