i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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