Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
