So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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