I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
