I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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