GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
