I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize