been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
