weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
