I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
