Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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