I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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