I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
