Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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