guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If I die, sorry about rent.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
