so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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