When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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