so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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