Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
