if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
