No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
