just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I need to calm my uterus...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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