dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
