you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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