You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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