Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
