I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
