I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
