This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he was CRYING into my vagina
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
