can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
