i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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