I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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