She's JV to your varsity
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
