I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
there is glitter all over my balls
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