No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
