so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
