why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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