i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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