Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Why is there bacon in the couch?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
