you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
