so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
