At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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