it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
