I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize