whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
