discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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