At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
