I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
