I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Less talking, more tequila
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize