if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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