I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
