I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Randomize