how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
