i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
