hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
