I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
