I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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