Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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