"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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