Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
