hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
